Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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