i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
