ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
