for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
