He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
