They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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