4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
