Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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