Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
