yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
