I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
