I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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