Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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