I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
