Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
