someone get that fucking seahorse.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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