i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
