he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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