I think I died a long time ago.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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