Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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