i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
