Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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