she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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