I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
