and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
