if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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