dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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