I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
