Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I fill condoms, not promises.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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