honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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