i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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