I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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