Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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