Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
nutella sex= disaster
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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