Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
