I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
