Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
