so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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