ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
