Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
