I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
