That's intense
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
