I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
