yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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