I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
