she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
