I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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