is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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