she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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