omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
