stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
