Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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