My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
