He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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