She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
